A Pillar of Support

Some days are just hard. Especially when I am tired and it has been raining for a week. Last night I was preparing a bottle for Baby when my husband walked into the kitchen.

He asked me if I wanted him to hold Baby while I prepared the bottle. I said "No".

What I really felt like saying was "I'll hold the Baby while you prepare the bottle, then you can take Baby and feed him and put him to bed so that I can get some sleep!"

I didn't say that, but I should have. Instead I felt like a martyr and fumed in my head about how tired I was, and that no one was helping. Oh my. I hate it when I get like that.

So, this morning I thought about why I felt that way, instead of just feeling tired, the rain etc.

Here is what I discovered. I am a pillar of support to for my family. I keep the house clean. I balance the checkbook and supervise our financial well-being. I wash our clothes. I shop for and cook our meals. I drive the children to soccer, piano, ballet and guitar lessons. I supervise homework. I plan special, fun things, for us to do as a family. I take care of our family culture. I do this because it is my job and most of the time, 99% of the time, this is what I would do over anything else. But sometimes, when I am tired, when I am just plain worn out, I need to turn to my own pillars of support. Who are they?

Well, my husband is one. Definitely, but he won't always step in just how I want him to, so I simply need to ask. Ask for help. Ask for help exactly how I want help. Most of the time he'll do it. Period.

My girlfriends are another pillar. Tonight, we are going out to celebrate a friend's birthday. I can't wait! We'll have a glass of wine, eat delicious food, and share the ups and downs of our lives. We laugh, commiserate with each other, and tell each other to hang in there. When life gets really hard these women will be there for me. Every time. If I need them, all I have to do is ask.

Book club is another one. Just getting together every six weeks is a huge stress-relief for me. I get out of the house and laugh, eat, talk about literature.

My mother and my sister. I can call them up anytime and just lay everything on the line. They listen. They tell me what I need to hear. If I need more, if I need them to come to me, then all I need to do is ask.

My mother and father in-law. In a few weeks they will stay at our house and help my husband care for the children while I go away with girlfriends to celebrate all of our "significant birthdays". We know that anytime we need them they will be here. All we need to do is ask.

Favorite authors are another pillar of support. I can turn to the wisdom of Madeline L'Engle, Elizabeth Goudge, Rosamunde Pilcher, Barbara Kingsolver and Irene Haas whenever I need their wisdom. They make me feel better, every time.

Who are your pillars of support? Who do you need to start asking for help? Remember, all you need to do is ask.